So, you’ve decided to dip more than just your toes into the lifestyle—welcome aboard! We’ve all been the “new couple” once, wondering things like “Do I bring lingerie or just confidence?” or “Is it rude to ask someone what they do for fun… in bed?”
This section is your cheat sheet for surviving (and thriving) at Hedonism, swinger cruises, and clubs without looking like you just fell off the vanilla wagon. From what to pack to how to politely say “no thanks,” we’ve got you covered—well, at least until the pool party starts.
Ladies, think “sexy club wear” with a side of wow. Around here, it’s affectionately called “slut wear”—the more revealing, the better. Big heels are practically part of the uniform (gravity is optional).
Guys, don’t phone it in. Leave the cargo shorts and flip-flops for the beach bar. Dress sharp—think stylish, confident, and clean. If she looks like a fantasy, you should at least look like her plus-one, not her Uber driver.
Oh, and don’t forget the theme nights! Check the schedule—because nothing says “rookie” like showing up to Glow Night in khakis. Amazon has an entire section of sexy outfits just waiting to get you in trouble—in a good way.
Ah yes, the eternal swinger struggle—how to mingle without looking like a nervous intern at a porn convention.
Here’s the deal: it’s never as effortless as it looks when you’re new. Everyone else has just had more practice (and maybe a drink or two). Speaking of which, a little alcohol can loosen things up, but getting sloppy drunk is the fastest way to go from “cute and flirty” to “public service announcement.”
Don’t be a chair decoration—get up, move around, smile, and chat with anyone who makes eye contact. Compliments are a great icebreaker (“You two look amazing tonight” works way better than “So… what room are you in?”).
And one golden rule: always approach a couple with your partner, not solo. Walking up alone screams “creeper” faster than saying, “I brought protection… and my mom packed snacks.”
Expect fun, flirtation, and a whole lot of energy that would make a Vegas pool party blush. You’ll find people of all shapes, colors, and comfort levels—because sexy doesn’t come in just one size.
There’s usually a dance floor, music pumping, and enough pheromones in the air to fog a mirror. Most folks are friendly and open, though every now and then you’ll stumble into a club that feels a bit cliquey—don’t take it personally. It’s not high school; it’s just humans being humans (with fewer clothes).
If one place isn’t your vibe, try another. The lifestyle has room for everyone—whether you’re there to dance, flirt, or just admire the scenery (and what a view it is).
Absolutely! In fact, most people don’t play (that’s swinger-speak for “have sex”) their first time at a club. You’ll probably be so turned on by the energy that when you get back to your room—or home—you’ll nearly break the headboard proving you did have a good time.
If you are invited to a room or playroom, don’t be shy about asking questions first. Some couples just want to hang out and do shots, others are ready to get naked and make the furniture earn its keep. Either way, communication is key—ask what’s on the menu before you sit down to playing.
Good questions include:
Are we talking chatting or mattress wrestling?
Condoms—yes or no?
Anyone here bi-curious or bi-experienced?
Is kissing okay?
Same room or separate adventures?
And gentlemen—real talk—sometimes your equipment doesn’t get the play memo. It’s not fun, it’s not funny, but it happens. Laugh it off, grab a drink, and remember: confidence is sexier than any performance.
Packing for a swinger adventure is like prepping for summer camp—if summer camp had condoms and theme nights.
First, check the club’s rules: some playrooms don’t allow street clothes. A few are fine with sexy robes, others insist on towels only (it’s like spa day… but way hotter).
Must-haves:
Lube (the good kind, not the “surprise, it’s sticky” kind)
Condoms, if you use them—never assume someone else brought enough
A small towel or washcloth for cleanup—it’s called “courtesy,” folks
Mints or gum—because bad breath kills more action than jealousy ever could
What not to pack:
Drama. Leave it at home with your in-laws and laundry. No one wants to witness a couple meltdown because someone broke a rule they were probably going to bend sooner or later anyway.
Keep it light, keep it sexy, and remember: if it won’t fit in a carry-on, it probably doesn’t belong in the playroom.
Ah, the Golden Rules of the Lifestyle—the stuff everyone knows but no one prints on the brochure. Follow these, and you’ll look like a seasoned pro instead of a confused tourist at an orgy.
No means no—always.
This isn’t a negotiation, it’s a boundary. Respect it. “Maybe later” also means “not right now,” so take the hint gracefully and move on.
Ask before you touch.
Hands are like credit cards—don’t use them without permission. Compliments are free, gropes are not.
Be clean, smell good, and groomed.
If you wouldn’t lick yourself, don’t expect anyone else to.
Don’t interrupt mid-play.
Nothing kills the mood like someone leaning in with “Hey, you done with that bed?” Wait your turn, grasshopper.
Ask about protection. These days everyone's rules are different. If you use condoms let everyone know before you get naked in the bed.
Don’t be a bed hog.
Play areas are for everyone, not just your marathon session. Pace yourself—or at least rotate.
Don’t judge body types or preferences.
Everyone’s there for fun, not a fashion show. Confidence is the hottest outfit in the room.
Leave your jealousy at the door.
The only thing that ruins the night faster than bad lube is a public argument. If something feels off, talk privately—not during someone else’s lap dance.
Be social, not stalker-y.
Saying hello is encouraged. Following a couple from the bar to the buffet to the bathroom? Not so much.
Say thank you.
Whether it was a flirtatious chat or a full-contact cardio session—good manners never go out of style.
In short: Be polite, be playful, and remember—it’s swinging, not surviving.
Not weird—just different levels of strategy required depending on your equipment.
For the gentlemen:
Being a single guy in the lifestyle is both a curse and a superpower. You’re outnumbered, often outvoted, but occasionally invited. Plenty of couples love an MFM setup (that’s “two guys, one lucky lady” for the newbies), but you’ve got to play it cool. Respectful, clean, and social wins every time. If the club has a “single men’s night,” go then—it’s the one time everyone actually expects you to be there… and might even be happy about it.
For the ladies:
You, my dear, are the unicorn—rare, magical, and in very high demand. If you’re open-minded and having fun, you’ll be the belle of the ball (possibly without the ball gown). Just remember, this is about shared experiences, not boyfriend shopping.
And one more thing: if you’re not bisexual, just say so. It’s not a requirement—just saves everyone from assuming your curiosity includes tongue contact. Honesty, confidence, and a smile will get you farther than any outfit… though the outfit doesn’t hurt.
Ah, the age-old swinger question—“When should I go so I don’t end up playing naked dominoes with just the bartender?”
If we’re talking Hedonism II in Jamaica or Secrets Hideaway in Florida, here’s the scoop:
At Secrets:
Think American holiday weekends. Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day are wall-to-wall bodies (and not just in the pool). Basically, if everyone else is grilling hot dogs, Secrets is grilling something else entirely.
At Hedonism II:
Holidays don’t matter—groups do. The resort lives and dies by who’s hosting that week. Some of the biggest, craziest times to go are:
Sexy Silver Weeks (where we turn “mature” into a compliment)
Lifestyle Weeks in January (when everyone’s working on new year’s positions, not resolutions)
Fluffernutters in July (don’t ask, just go—it’s legendary)
Reunion Week in October (where everyone “remembers” each other—usually after a few drinks)
Bi-Couples Week (recently blowing up—pun intended)
There are plenty of other busy weeks, but here’s the secret: pick a group that fits your vibe. Even a smaller week with like-minded people beats a packed week with folks who think “full swap” means changing dinner tables
Consent is the holy grail of the lifestyle—without it, the whole thing falls apart faster than a cheap thong in a playroom.
Here’s the golden rule: if you didn’t ask, don’t assume. Sexy chaos might be happening all around you, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s open for business.
A few key tips to keep you from starring in the next “what not to do” story:
Ask first—always.
“Would you like to join us?” is infinitely sexier than silently reaching in like you’re picking appetizers at a buffet.
Use your words and your manners.
A polite “May I?” or “Is this okay?” goes a long way. No one ever killed the mood by being respectful.
Yes means yes. No means no. Maybe means no (for now).
Don’t try to talk anyone into anything. Swinging is about enthusiasm, not negotiations.
Check in, even mid-play.
A simple “You good?” or “Still okay?” keeps everyone comfortable—and it shows you’re paying attention (which is always sexy).
Watch body language.
If someone freezes, turns away, or goes quiet—it’s not shyness, it’s a signal. Stop immediately and regroup.
No guilt, no grudges.
If someone says no, smile, thank them, and move on. There’s plenty of fun to be had elsewhere.
Bottom line: consent is continuous, enthusiastic, and sexy as hell. Because nothing ruins the mood faster than someone forgetting that “yes” is the hottest four-letter word there is.
Think of it like this: a swinger resort is summer camp for grown-ups with fewer mosquitoes and more orgasms—while a swinger cruise is a floating Vegas where the dress code gets looser the farther you sail.
At a resort like Hedonism II or Desire, the energy is relaxed and sensual. You’ve got the same crowd all week, so there’s time to mingle, flirt, and build up that delicious anticipation. Days are for nude pools, scuba dives, and cocktails that make you forget your room number. Nights? Well, that’s when the dress comes off and the theme wear comes on.
A cruise, on the other hand, is a full-blown, high-seas circus of hedonism. It’s loud, wild, and moves fast—literally. You’ll meet hundreds (sometimes thousands) of sexy travelers in themed outfits that make Halloween look tame. Playrooms are bigger, schedules are packed, and the FOMO is real. The only downside? You can’t sneak back to your cabin without bumping into three people who saw you “socializing” in the hot tub.
In short:
Resorts = intimate, flirty, tropical paradise where everyone eventually knows your name (and maybe your favorite position).
Cruises = sensory overload, costume parades, and the world’s most entertaining elevator rides.
Pick your poison—or better yet, try both. You’ll need a vacation after either one.
Go ahead—ask us! We’ve probably done it, seen it, or accidentally invented it after tequila. Email us a
HTML Website Creator