Hedonism II Do's and Don'ts
Hedonism II Do's and Don'ts
Welcome to the ultimate list of what to do (and what not to do) at Hedonism II — the wildest, most clothing-optional playground in Jamaica. Whether you’re a first-timer nervously clutching your towel or a seasoned guest who’s already lost it, this is your naughty guide to surviving (and thriving) in paradise
We’ve been visiting Hedo since 1999 — over 50 times — which officially qualifies us as professional hedonists. Some people come here to drink until sunrise; others, like us, go to meet new people and maybe explore their bodies for a bit. (FYI- that is the naughtiness of Hedo)
Our goal? To make you laugh, help you avoid rookie mistakes, and maybe spark a few delicious ideas for your next trip. After all, life’s too short to play it safe when there’s a naked pool, a glow party, and a late-night buffet waiting for you.
We do our best to bring a smile to your face and maybe some small thing that will make your trip.
Hugh and Judy
Proud Owners and Naughty Lifestylers
Start on the bus ride to the resort. You’re all at Hedonism on the same mission — to have fun, get free, and maybe do a little horizontal salsa under the stars. Do not forget small talk; here “Where are you from?” usually leads to “So… what are you into?” It’s networking, but naked! Remember, at Hedo, networking often involves body parts, not business cards.
Drop the clothes, be naked. That first minute you’ll be all, “Oh my god, everyone’s naked!” Five minutes later, you’ll be like, “Why did I ever own pants?” Don’t overthink it — just rip off that swimsuit like it owes you money. Five minutes in, you’ll realize nobody cares what you look like… unless you’re still wearing something. Then you’ll really stand out.
Cowboy Night, Fetish Night, Glow Night — it’s like Halloween and Mardi Gras had a love child that never learned modesty. Guy's funny outfits get remembered Ladies: Remember, the less fabric you wear, the more applause you get and we guys always enjoy the female body. Think creativity meets wardrobe malfunction, with a touch of glitter and bad decisions.
Yes, Hedo’s about pleasure, but also… adventure! Go diving, cruise the catamaran, do the glass bottom boat or snorkel with the fishies — they’re the only ones staring more than the new guy at the nude pool. The ocean’s wild too, just wetter. Remember all of these things are included in the price as well. You could stay in bead until noon, but it's Hedo, you should explore more than just each others bodies.
Ah, the famous nude pool grotto a.k.a. Nature’s Cold Shower of Lust — where fantasies go to get hypothermia! You’ll spot it by the giggles echoing off the rocks and the occasional scream of “OH MY GOD, THAT’S COLD!” Bonus points if you can pull this off with other couples — or with yourselves and an audience. Just remember, inside that grotto it’s about 10 degrees colder than your exes, so romance tends to turn into survival mode fast. Still, if you manage to seal the deal in there, you’ve earned the right to tell your grandkids, “Yep, that’s where your parents almost didn’t happen.”
The woman’s a legend. Her eggs are the most satisfying thing you’ll have in the morning — unless you got lucky last night. And if you didn’t, don’t worry, breakfast is foreplay for round two.
Flirting? Hot. Hovering? Not. If your vibe says “documentary about stalkers,” you’re doing it wrong. Ask first, touch second — and only if the answer’s yes. Remember, this isn’t the Discovery Channel: no lurking in the bushes.
We mean it — everywhere. Nothing kills the mood faster than a burnt banana or a toasted ta-ta. SPF is your BFF. Otherwise, you’ll spend the week applying aloe to parts that should only know pleasure.
This isn’t Fantasy Fest — it’s confidential chaos. Always ask before snapping. “What happens at Hedo stays at Hedo” isn’t just a slogan, it’s survival. Look in the background before you snap any photo.
Sleep is for people who vacation at Sandals. Between pool parties, glow nights, and 3 a.m. hot tub confessions, your circadian rhythm’s gonna need a therapist. Coffee in the morning, rum at night, repeat until deported. Besides you can sleep when you are dead...which might be the week after you leave Hedonism if your body just can't survive the shock!
Yes, the bar’s open and the rum’s flowing like truth serum at a family reunion — but pace yourself, Captain Cocktail! Nobody wants to hook up with the guy drooling in his drink or the lady doing interpretive dance alone in the hot tub.
We all spent a lot of money to get here, but you’re not going to get your money’s worth by trying to drink the bar dry. (Trust us — they’ve got enough booze to float the resort.)
Drink water, grab a snack, flirt, repeat. A good buzz makes you charming — well, maybe — but a blackout makes you a cautionary tale. Do it several days in a row, and even the resort cats won’t make eye contact. Remember, it’s Hedonism, not Sleepism.
You’ll see it all — shapes, sizes, piercings in places that make you question physics. Just smile, clap politely, and remember: everyone’s writing their own chapter in this very naked novel.
Yes, you came to Hedo with big dreams — naked bodies everywhere, the nude pool turning into a 24-hour orgy, and your own personal adult film soundtrack playing in your head. But hold your lube, Romeo — it’s not quite like that.
Sure, some folks will flirt, flash, and maybe even invite you to “play” before you’ve finished your second thought. But others? They’re here to tan, laugh, and maybe just enjoy watching you try too hard.
Remember, not everyone’s into everyone. Some don’t like tattoos. Some don’t like hair. Some just don’t like you. And that’s okay! It’s not rejection — it’s just nature’s way of saying, “Aim your charm elsewhere, champ.”
So relax, smile, and remember: at Hedonism II, the only sure thing you’re getting into bed with every night is your ego — and maybe a little sand.