“Wait… what now?”—this is the place to look. We tried to make it fun, not fancy. Think less Merriam-Webster, more Married-with-Websters-after-a-couple-of-drinks. Enjoy the ride and maybe even learn a thing or two along the way!
AC/DC:
Someone who enjoys both same-sex and opposite-sex fun. Basically, their bed doesn’t care about gender—it’s open for all power sources.
ADULT:
Sexually oriented material. Aka porn, smut, or that thing you “accidentally” left open when your boss walked by.
ALL CULTURES:
Someone who enjoys any and all fetishes or sexual activities. The “buffet sampler” of kink—will try anything twice, just to be sure.
AMERICAN CULTURE:
Missionary position—man on top. Apple pie, bald eagle, and lights out by 10.
ANAL CREAMPIE:
When a guy finishes inside the backdoor and gravity takes care of the rest. Not for the faint of heart—or the faint of hygiene.
ANAL SEX:
Anal intercourse. Commonly known as “butt stuff,” “the scenic route,” "Hershey highway" or “the road less traveled (for good reason).”
ANALINGUS:
Licking or kissing your partner’s backside. Or as the pros call it, “tasting the rainbow, but from the wrong end.”
ARTS:
A classy euphemism for fetishes. Because “bondage enthusiast” just doesn’t sound as refined as “patron of the erotic arts.”
ATM (Ass to Mouth):
When what went in the back comes out the front—immediately. Not recommended for germaphobes or those who say “ew” easily.
BAREBACK:
Sex without a condom. Also known as “riding raw,” “cowboy style,” or “hope you both tested last week.”
B&D / B/D / BDSM:
Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism—basically adult trust falls with whips and safe words.
BI / BISEXUAL:
Enjoys both men and women. Twice the options, twice the confusion at orgies.
BI-CURIOUS:
Thinking about trying same-sex fun. They’re standing at the shallow end of the bi-pool, toe in, wondering if it’s warm.
BIZARRE:
Unusual sexual desires—according to “normal” people who think socks in bed are kinky.
BONDAGE:
Tying someone up for pleasure. For those who like their partners attached in every sense of the word.
BULL:
The dominant man who joins a couple—especially in cuckold scenes. Think of him as the guest star who doesn’t need direction.
CAN ENTERTAIN AND/OR TRAVEL:
Happy to host or visit for fun. Comes with their own luggage and condoms.
CANING:
A spanking fetish using a cane—usually bamboo. The sound alone can make your butt clench in anticipation or fear (sometimes both).
CLEAN:
Free of STDs and drama. The word everyone hopes means “recently tested,” not “I feel fine.”
CLOSED DOOR / CLOSED SWINGING:
Each couple in their own room. The “Netflix and separate chill” version of swinging.
CLOSET SWINGER:
A swinger who hides it from friends and family. Their alter ego’s name is probably “vanilla light.”
COUPLE (CPL):
Two people—usually a man and woman—playing together. May come with shared rules, mixed signals, and matching outfits.
CREAMPIE:
When he finishes inside her and you can see the evidence. Mother Nature’s version of a lava lamp.
CUCKOLD:
A man who enjoys watching—or knowing—his wife plays with others. The only guy rooting for the other team.
CUCKQUEEN:
The female version of a cuckold. She gets turned on by her man playing with someone else—proof that jealousy can be sexy when it’s mutual.
CULTURE:
Another polite word for fetish. Because “I’m into culture” sounds better than “I own six paddles and a latex priest outfit.”
CUNNILINGUS:
Oral attention to the vagina and clitoris. Requires enthusiasm, stamina, and, according to my wife, a good tongue.
D&D FREE:
Drug and Disease Free. Means “sober enough to consent” and “won’t send you home with antibiotics.”
DILDO:
An artificial penis. Often better at its job, never asks for sandwiches afterward.
DISCIPLINE:
A fetish involving control and punishment. Because sometimes a “time-out” needs handcuffs.
DISCREET:
Being careful so the neighbors don’t find out. The opposite of live-streaming from your playroom.
DOCILE:
Happy to receive bondage or discipline. The human version of “do not disturb.”
DOMESTIC TRAINING:
Obedience through chores. “Yes, Mistress, I’ll mop in my collar.” (Still counts as cardio.)
DOMINANT:
The partner who takes control. Often owns the paddle, the power, and the playlist.
DP (Double Penetration):
Two entries, one front door one back door. Requires teamwork, trust, and spatial awareness.
DPV (Double Penetration Vagina)
Two entries, one hole. Requires team work from all three people. Lube Required!
DRAMA:
What happens when someone forgets swinging is supposed to be fun. If you bring drama to a party, please take it home with you.
DTF (Down to F-ck)
Said for parties where there is no conversation before hand. Well except "I think I see bed space open, should we? "
ENGLISH CULTURE:
Getting turned on by spanking or caning. Basically Downton Abbey with a sore butt.
EXHIBITIONIST:
Someone who gets off on being watched. If there’s a mirror, a window, or a camera nearby—they’re already halfway there.
FAMILY FIRST:
Code for “We have kids, and we’ll need to find a sitter before the orgy.”
FELLATIO / FRENCH CULTURE:
The fine art of oral pleasure on the penis. Vive la France—and don’t forget to tip your stylist.
FETISH:
Arousal from objects, actions, or body parts not normally considered sexual. If someone says, “It’s a long story involving balloons,” just smile and nod.
FLAGELLATION:
Getting turned on by being whipped or spanking someone. Think of it as cardio with welts.
FMF:
Female-Male-Female. For when you realize ménage à trois just sounds fancier in French. Not Common, but happens on rare occasions.
FULL SWAP:
Both couples go all the way with each other. The swingers’ version of “Take your keys, I’ll take your spouse.”
FUN AND GAMES:
A euphemism for sex. Because saying “We’re playing Twister” keeps the neighbors guessing.
GAY:
Homosexual—male or female. Also describes 90% of the dance floor when Madonna comes on.
GANGBANG:
Three or more guys with one lucky (and exhausted) participant. Like a team sport, but only one gets all the prizes.
GREEK / GREEK CULTURE:
Anal sex. The ancient art of backdoor diplomacy.
GROUP ROOM:
A room set up for group sex. Wall-to-wall mattresses, no judgment, and several lost panties and one lost sock that nobody claims.
GROUP SEX:
Sex with three or more people. Kind of like a potluck—everyone brings something to share.
HALL PASS:
Permission to play without your partner present. Used correctly, it’s liberating; used carelessly, it’s divorce court.
HARD CORE / HARD SWINGING:
A party where sex is assumed and expected. Bring lube, not small talk.
HEDONIST:
Someone who lives for pleasure. Probably has a frequent flyer account with Hedonism II.
HETEROSEXUAL:
Attracted to the opposite sex. Still trying to understand why everyone else is having more fun.
HOMOSEXUAL:
Attracted to the same sex. Twice the wardrobe, half the drama (usually).
HORIZONTAL COUPLE
The name you can also call your swinger friends.
HORNY:
Sexually charged and ready to go. Basically the human version of a “Full Tank” and ready to go.
HUNG:
Blessed with a large penis. Also responsible for 90% of bad mirror selfies.
HWP (Height-Weight-Proportionate):
Code for “I don’t look like I did in my profile pic, but I still clean up nice.”
INDOOR / INDOOR SPORTS:
Swinging in general. Because technically it is a sport—there’s teamwork, sweat, and sometimes injuries that are hard to explain to your chiropractor.
INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP:
Wants more than just a hookup—maybe dinner first, or at least tacos. (Because let’s be honest: nothing says romance like post-play guacamole.)
IRL (In Real Life):
Used online to say, “I actually want to meet you outside of chat.” Not to be confused with “IYKYK”—which means they probably really want to meet you.
ISO (In Search Of):
The swinger version of a classified ad. “MWC ISO Unicorn” = “Married couple chasing fantasy like it owes them money.”
LEATHER:
A fetish for the smell, feel, or look of leather. Imagine 50 Shades of Moo.
LESBIAN:
A woman who loves women. Often the most requested person at a pool party—especially during “Ladies’ Night.”
LIFESTYLE:
A polite term for “swinging,” “kink,” or “that thing we can’t talk about at Thanksgiving.”
LS:
Short for Lifestyle. Handy when your autocorrect keeps changing “swinger” to “singer.”
LTR (Long-Term Relationship):
A relationship that lasts longer than your average swinger party—rare, but not extinct.
MARITAL AIDS:
Dildos, vibrators, and other toys that keep marriages exciting and batteries profitable.
MASOCHISM:
Getting turned on by receiving pain or humiliation. Basically, “thank you, may I have another?” but with a smile.
MASTER / SLAVE:
One gives the orders, the other follows. Not to be confused with actual slavery—it’s more like adult Simon Says with paddles.
MATROOM:
A big padded room for group play. Think sleepover meets Cirque du Soleil, minus the pajamas.
MEET FOR PLEASURE:
When “Netflix and chill” skips right to the credits. No dinner, no drama, just dessert.
MÉNAGE À TROIS:
Three people in one bed. The original French import that Americans definitely got right.
MFM / MFMM:
The swinger math equation where one woman becomes very popular.
MORESOMES:
More than three people. At some point, it stops being an orgy and starts being a team-building exercise.
MUTUAL MASTURBATION:
When everyone’s doing their own thing together. Like a synchronized swimming routine—without the pool.
NASCA:
North American Swing Club Association. Because even orgies need an association with bylaws. Not around anymore, and do not confuse this NASCAR!
NEWCOMERS:
First-timers in the lifestyle. Easily identified by their wide eyes and questions like, “So… do we shake hands first?”
NONSMOKER:
Doesn’t smoke. Great breath, less ashtray kissing.
NSA (No Strings Attached):
Sex minus the emotional baggage. It’s all fun and games until someone forgets the safe word and the exit plan.
OFF-PREMISE:
When the party’s “meet and greet” doesn’t include actual play—think of it as a lifestyle appetizer.
ON-PREMISE
When the party is at a location where sex happens there are beds and showers in the building—think of it as a place where the Full Monty happens, including the DNA!
OPEN DOOR / OPEN SWINGING:
Everyone plays in the same room. Privacy optional, audience guaranteed.
ORGY:
A glorious pile of consenting adults where names are optional and hydration is essential.
PARTY:
Three or more people who show up to “hang out” and somehow lose their clothes by dessert.
PARTY CLOTHES:
What you wear before taking off what you really came in. Think “easy access with flair.”
PARTY HOUSE:
A swing club that hosts regular on-premise parties. Basically, a B&B where the second “B” stands for “boinking.”
PASSIVE:
Submissive or quiet partner who’s happy to receive direction—or spankings. Often mistaken for “shy” until you hand them a flogger.
Porn:
What you hope to make with the video setting on your camera phone, while in your room with other couples naked. It's very hot for you, but very grainy and dark for everyone else.
P/P (Photo & Phone):
How swingers used to exchange info before apps existed. The original “send nudes.”
PRO:
Someone who charges for their services. If you have to ask for rates, it’s not amateur night.
RECREATIONAL SWINGER:
Does it for fun, not feelings. Like bowling—but with fewer shoes and more balls.
RESTRAINT:
Light bondage for beginners. Great for those who like to feel tied to the moment.
ROMAN / ROMAN CULTURE:
Group sex, orgies, and wild parties. When in Rome… don’t wear pants.
RUBBER:
A condom, or a fetish for latex. Also a lifesaver, in every sense of the word.
SADISM:
Pleasure from inflicting pain. Basically, foreplay with a soundtrack of ouch and thank you.
SAFE:
Means someone can’t get pregnant or impregnate—vasectomy, tubes tied, or divine intervention.
SAME ROOM:
Couples play side by side. The swinger version of “keeping an eye on things.”
SEPARATE ROOM:
You do your thing, they do theirs, and you meet later for the post-game recap.
S&M (Sadism & Masochism):
Pain, pleasure, and probably a safe word that sounds ridiculous when yelled.
SINGLE:
A swinger without a partner—sometimes known as “the plus-one who’s everyone’s plus-one.”
SLUT
Affectionate term for ladies in the lifestyle, not to be confused with whore, which means you do it for money.
SOCIAL:
A swinger gathering with no play... allegedly. (Check the parking lot to be sure.)
SOCIAL SWING CLUB:
A club where people meet for parties, workshops, or orgies disguised as “networking events.”
SODOMY:
Any sex act not involving the missionary position. Once illegal, now just Saturday night.
SOFT SWINGERS (aka Soft Swap)
Couples who fool around but don’t have full penetration. Basically in the “swinger very friendly zone.”
SOFT SWINGING (SRS):
Everything but full intercourse. Think of it as foreplay with an audience.
SPITROAST:
A woman enjoying attention from both ends at once. Not for vegetarians.
STD:
Sexually Transmitted Disease. Proof that sexy adventures still require homework and testing.
STR / STR8 / STRAIGHT:
Not into same-sex play. Also used for non-swingers—basically anyone still thinks pineapple is just fruit.
SUBMISSIVE:
Likes to be told what to do. The only person happy to hear, “On your knees.”
SWAPPING:
Two couples exchange partners. It’s like partner dancing, just with less clothing and more rhythm.
SWINGING:
Consensual adult fun with others. Key words: consensual, adult, fun—in that order.
SWINGER INSURANCE:
ED medication like Viagra or Cialis. Because sometimes the mind is willing, but the body forgot to RSVP.
SWINGING LIFESTYLE:
When this isn’t just a hobby—it’s a lifestyle. There’s no going back once you’ve ordered “Hedonism” on repeat.
SWINGING MARRIAGE:
A marriage built on trust, communication, and just enough stamina for round two.
TAN:
Tested Antibody Negative for HIV. Translation: clean bill of health and good to go.
THREESOME:
Three people. Two get busy, one wonders why they didn’t stretch first.
TICKET:
A woman brought to a party so her male “friend” can get in. Also known as “human cover charge.”
TRIAD:
A committed relationship between three people. Not a threesome—think polyamory with better scheduling.
TWINK:
A young, attractive gay man with the metabolism of a hummingbird and zero body hair.
UNICORN:
Mythical Single Female in the Lifestyle/Swinging. They are out there, but they are one boyfriend away from being a couple...after that, sometimes in the lifestyle, sometimes not.
VANNILA FRIENDS
What you call your friends at home who are not in the lifestyle. Knowing they are your friends, they might be converted at any time.
V-SAFE / VAS-SAFE:
The guy’s had a vasectomy. The swimmers are retired, but the pool’s still open.
VERSATILE:
Enjoys being both top and bottom. The true multitasker of the bedroom.
VOLUPTUOUS:
Curvy, full-bodied, and proudly built for pleasure. Think “dangerous curves ahead.”
VOYEUR:
Loves watching others play. Think of them as the lifestyle’s quiet film critics.
VOYEURISM:
Getting off by watching others have sex. Great hobby—terrible job interview answer.
VWE (Very Well Endowed):
The kind of guy who gets asked, “Is that thing registered as a weapon?”
ATM: Ass to Mouth
BBC: Big Black C_ck
BiF: Bisexual Female
BiM: Bisexual Male
BiMF: Bisexual Married Female
BiMM: Bisexual Married Male
BDSM:Bondage/Discipline/Domination/Submission/Sadism/Masochism
BWC: Big White C_ock (Rare but they are out there)
CD: Cross-dresser
CPL: Couple
DBF: Divorced Black Female
DBM: Divorced Black Male
DDF: Drug and Disease Free
DD’s: Double D Chest Size
DOM: Dominant (male)
DOMME: Dominant (female)
DP: Double Penetration
DPV: Double Penetration Vagina
D/S: Domination/Submission
DWF: Divorced White Female
DWM: Divorced White Male
DTF: Down to fuck
F/T: Full Time
F2F: Face-to-Face F4F: Women For Woman
F4M: Women For Man
F4MF: Women For Man Women
GSOH: Good Sense of Humor
GBF: Gay Black Female
GBM: Gay Black Male
GWF: Gay White Female
GWM: Gay White Male
HWP: Height/Weight Proportional
ISO: In Search Of
IRL: In Real Life
ILU: I Love You
LOL: Laugh(ing) Out Loud
LTR: Long Term Relationship
LFG: Looking for a group
LDS: Latter-day Saints
LDR: Long Distance Relationship
LGBT: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender
LGBTQ: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer or Questioning
LGBTQi: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer or Questioning Intersex
LGBTQIA: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer or Questioning Intersex Asexual or Ally
LS: Lifestyle
M4M: Man For Men
M4W: Man For Women
MBA: Married But Available
MBF: Married Black Female
MBM: Married Black Male
MF4MF: Man Women For Man Women
MF4F: Man Women For Women
MF4M: Man Women For Man
MM: Married Men
MWC: Married White Couple
MWF: Married White Female
MWM: Married White Male
NSA: No Strings Attached
P/T: Part time
RPG: Role Playing Games
RL: Real Life
SAF: Single Asian Female
SAM: Single Asian Male
SALT: Single and Loving It
SBF: Single Black Female
SBM: Single Black Male
SCF: Single Christian Female
SCM: Single Christian Male
SHF: Single Hispanic Female
SHM: Single Hispanic Male
SINK: Single Income No Kids
SM: Sadism/Masochism (S&M)
SOH: Sense of Humor
SUB: Submissive
SWF: Single White Female
SWM: Single White Male
SO: Significant Other
SWALK: Sealed With A Loving Kiss
TS: Transsexual
T-Girl: Transsexual Female
VDP: Vaginal Double Penetration
W4M: Women For Men
W4W: Women For Women
W/E: Well-endowed
WLTM: Would Like To Meet
XOXO: Hugs and Kisses
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